


Bank Robbing is just a hobby

by Acetate (DramaLama), kate882



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaLama/pseuds/Acetate, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: “I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away I’ll repay you in sexual favours and also cash” AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bank Robbing is just a hobby

“Fucking shit!” Aomine hissed, darting a quick glance left, right and behind him.

The shrill wail of police sirens could be heard very faintly in the distance. Along with the slow groan of nighttime traffic. Praying that that’d spare him at least enough time to get the hell out of here, he crept along the empty corridor, suitcase in one gloved hand and eyes on the lookout for anybody still wandering about the bank.

Reaching the end of the hallway without seeing another soul in sight, he easily picked the one (shitty) lock to the building’s back door. Aomine slipped out into the cold night, shivering as a gust of wind hit him. And cursed. Violently.

Kise wasn’t here.

_Kise wasn’t fucking here._

That piece of shit sponge was supposed to meet up with him out back at this exact time so they could ditch this place as fast as possible and he could spend the next twenty-four hours living it up with a pair of god-given tits in his face.

Wrenching out his phone almost left him in tears when he saw the black screen.

Dead battery.

“Fucking perfect.” As if working with Kise wasn’t enough, his phone had to give him a hard kick in the nuts too.

The wailing was getting louder and louder and he was quickly running out of time. Panic crept up his spine. There was no way he was spending any time locked up in a cell with a bunch of losers too slow and stupid to successfully rob a bank, or be cursed with a Kise in his case.

Decision made—to leave without and also kill the blond the first chance he got—he pulled off the mask and shoved it into his pocket. Drawing in a lungful of air, he straightened up and strolled casually out into the parking space behind the bank as if he most definitely belonged there.

The one small empty car, parked in a dark corner of the area was like a beacon of light in the world’s dirtiest pile of shit and, dropping all pretense of actually being a working class citizen—he snorted at that—he sprinted straight for the vehicle. Dropping to his knees and drawing out the picks he kept hidden in a seam in his belt, he set to work picking the lock of the car.

Kuroko stopped when he walked to his car to find someone trying to pick the lock. “Um . . . that’s my car,” he spoke up, although he probably should have called the police instead, considering he was by himself and the guy picking his lock was a lot bigger than him. Not to mention, there wasn’t anyone else nearby, since they all seemed to have gathered around the commotion at the bank.

Freezing in place with a pick still in between his teeth, Aomine slowly twisted his neck around to greet the voice of the car’s owner. If the man was bigger than him, running would probably be his best option. If he was smaller, well he’d punch the guy straight in the face, then continue. It was foolproof.

“Shit,” was the first word out of his mouth the moment he caught sight of the car’s owner staring down at him. Not having categorised small and hot into his plan, he was at a lost as for what to do. “I just robbed a bank,” he blurted out loud. That… hadn’t been part of the plan and if his brain wasn’t lodged in his dick at that very moment he might’ve been sorely tempted to punch himself instead.

Kuroko blinked a few times and looked towards the bank around which the police were gathered. “Why are you telling me that?” He returned his eyes to the man, who was no longer trying to break into his car.

Aomine was still asking himself that exact same question but the fact that the man hadn’t run off screaming in the other direction was a plus. Out of stupidity or some weird sense of self preservation, he wasn’t quite sure yet. Maybe the man thought that if he bolted, Aomine would shoot him, well he could work with that. “I… Because you’re going to be my new ride.” He nodded at the car door while standing up and picking the suitcase up off the floor. “Get to it, shorty.”

Kuroko started backing up. “ . . . I don’t want to be an accessory to robbery.” He glanced towards the police cars at the bank again, wondering his chances of making a run for it.

Aomine followed his gaze, noticing the cars as well. “Shit,” he hissed—he was running out of time. “Look, shorty. Just open the door and get us out of here or I’ll...” He really should’ve invested in a gun prior to the robbery but it wasn’t like he’d ever had cause to use one before. Robbery and breaking and entering were one thing but murder was a whole different ball game. One he didn’t want to be a part of, ever. “...I’ll blow you.”

“I—what?” What kind of threat was that?

Aomine gestured with his mouth and hand. “Blowjob. My mouth on your dick. No? You want a handjob instead?”

“I know what it is! I’m asking why that’s your go-to when trying to get someone to commit a crime!” Kuroko was still backing up.

‘Because you’re hot’ might not be the smartest thing to say. “Because you’re hot.” But he said it anyway. “Besides,” Aomine began, taking a slow step towards the retreating man. Best to make himself look as unthreatening as possible lest he lose his getaway. “I’ll… split… the money… with… you,” he ground out.

Kuroko was about to say no, but then remembered that he’d just gotten his first student loan bill a week before. He hadn’t exactly agreed, but he’d stopped trying to escape.   

Noticing that the guy had stopped back-stepping and was actually showing an interest now, albeit for the cash and not his world class mouth, Aomine continued, “So… yes? Blowjob and cash in exchange for you getting your fine ass over here and unlocking the car so we can ditch this place?” Not like the man had specifically stated that he’d wanted one without the other. Aomine Daiki was optimistic.

“Cash. Just the cash,” Kuroko answered, clicking the unlock button and tossing the keys to Aomine after getting in the passenger seat. If Aomine was driving and they got caught he could just say he was a hostage and hadn’t actually contributed to the getting away.

Glancing down at his pants, a frown marred Aomine’s features and he turned to the man seated on his left. Disappoint seeping through in the tone of his voice. “What. No blowjob? Scout’s honor, I’m damn good,” he said, tossing the suitcase in the backseat and slamming the door shut. He started up the engine.

“I feel like you weren’t ever a scout, and thus this ‘honor’ is irrelevant,” Kuroko answered. “Also, you just robbed a bank.”

“Minor details.” Aomine replied with a flick of his wrist before putting the car into reverse. “And I was a scout, shorty. I’ll even show you the badge when we make it back to the safehouse.” Technically his house but Kise—the bastard—had gotten him into the habit of calling it that. “Helped old ladies across the street and walked puppies and everything.”

“Something went very wrong in your code of honor teachings then,” Kuroko replied. “And I’m not that short. Stop calling me that.”

Easing slowly out of the parking lot, he thanked his lucky stars for today’s batch of incompetent cops. Had it been Imayoshi Shoichi leading the team, he might’ve been forced to actually try to be careful. “Well give me a name to call you by then.”

Kuroko wasn't sure he wanted to give his full name to a criminal, and he might mess up answering to a fake name. So, he used just his first name because that would be a bit harder to look for him with than his last. "Tetsuya."

 _Tetsuya,_ Aomine thought, slowing to a stop at an intersection. He couldn’t be certain that the name the man had given him was a fake but surprisingly enough, it seemed to suit him. So he’d go with it for now. “Daiki is the name you want to scream out later,” he replied, feeling the traces of a grin tug at the corners of his mouth. ‘Aomine’ wasn’t as fun to call out. Too many syllables.

"And in the meantime, speaking at a normal volume, what should I be calling you?" Kuroko replied.

“You’re no fun, Tetsu.”

Kuroko raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but didn't comment. "I assure you that I am a lot of fun. Committing a felony just doesn't quite do it for me though."

“Oh really?” He was openly grinning now as he smoothly switched lanes. “And that’s because you haven’t robbed a bank before.” A scene of the man, Tetsu—his mind helpfully supplied—sneaking through the country’s highest security bank with him wasn’t such a bad image. He pictured Tetsu, decked out in the all black attire he wore for heists and really wished he hadn’t. Driving with an obvious hard-on wasn’t the most comfortable experience in the world.

"I wasn't aware such fetishes existed," Kuroko said after a glance towards Aomine, whose jeans did nothing to hide his erection. "Is it even safe for you to be driving? I rather like my car."

Chancing a quick peek at his crotch had him wincing. Ever the dick his dick was but he… could work with this, maybe. He hadn’t missed the way Tetsu had stared down at it. “I’m the best driver you’ll ever meet, Tetsu but since _you_ look so interested... invitation’s open,” he said, shifting his legs wider apart.

Kuroko flushed a bit and looked away from Aomine. "That's dangerous, Daiki-san."

“Daiki-san? Why so formal, aren’t we friends?” he teased, ignoring the fact that that hadn’t helped his erection in the slightest but he’d prefer not to blow his load in his pants like some twelve-year-old boy.    

"No." Kuroko still wouldn't look at him since his cheeks were still tinted pink.

“But we committed a felony together.” The grin wouldn’t leave Aomine’s face. He was having too much fun now. Thank Kise for being so useless, he was actually tempted into not killing the blond the next time he saw him. Maybe he’d settle for a punch in the face.  

"That's grounds for arrest, not friendship. Besides, you're being a bit more than just friendly at the moment." He spared a glance for Aomine's hard-on before returning to staring out the window.

“Stare all you want, I’m not against it.” And it wasn’t like it was going away anytime soon. Well he hoped it would. Due to Tetsu and not searing disappointment.  

"I am," Kuroko said flatly.

The temptation to stop the car, cops and an arrest be damned, and just haul the shorter man up onto his lap was staggering. He refrained. Barely. “Invitation’s still open. You’re welcome to it anytime you want, or... ” Directing his gaze at Tetsu’s crotch, he left the sentence hanging, intent clear as day.

"I _just_ told you I'm against the idea of sex with you. We are driving away from a _crime scene_ , Daiki-san. Can't you keep your libido in check long enough to at least make sure we don't get arrested?" He then noticed where Aomine's gaze was. "And for the love of all that is holy, keep your eyes on the road!"

Aomine laughed and shook his head. “We’re not going to get caught, trust me. Those idiots couldn’t arrest someone even if they’d shown up at the station, cuffed and confessing. And I never said anything about sex with you, I offered to blow you but if you want to… I’m up for that too. Literally. Also, my eyes are on the road,” he stated, turning back around.

"Oral sex is still sex, Daiki-san," Kuroko said with exasperation.

He grinned, turning left. “It’s the prequel to sex, Tetsu.”

"Only if you're good at it."

Tetsu hadn’t lied. He _was_ fun, immensely so. “Is that a challenge?”

"Not while you're driving it isn't," Kuroko replied.

“And if I’m not?” he said, unconsciously easing his foot off the pedal.

"You are though, because we aren't getting arrested."

It wasn’t an outright no at least. So he let hope trickle through that Tetsu wouldn’t leave after they’d arrive at their destination. Speeding up, he replied. “Like I said before, Tetsu, we aren’t going to get arrested--”

A siren started up from the vehicle they’d just passed and Aomine glanced down at the speedometer, grimacing. “Oops.”

Kuroko glared at him. "Are you _sure_ about that?"

“Positive.” He answered, pressing down on the pedal. “Ever gone faster than 110?”

"It's not legal, so no." He felt himself pale a bit as he looked at the speed rise. "You're just attracting more attention to the car. They probably just want to give you a speeding ticket."

Aomine darted a quick glance at the man to make sure he wasn’t going to get a mouthful of vomit in his lap. Deciding that Tetsu looked perfectly fine, he made a sharp right and felt the seatbelt dig into his chest. “I might not have my license with me right now.” He really shouldn’t have relied on Kise. “Besides, pissing the cops off is an age-old recipe for a healthy life.”  

Kuroko pulled out his phone and texted Kagami to report his car stolen so that he wouldn't be associated when they looked for the license plate owner. Kagami was a good friend, he would go along with it.

Swerving left, Aomine narrowly avoided a nasty collision with a passing vehicle. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he wanted to laugh out loud. He never got tired of the chase, because no one could ever fucking catch him. A glint off to his side had him noticing the phone in Tetsu’s hands. “Calling the cops?”

"No. Making sure that I'm not arrested since this is my car," Kuroko replied simply as he got a text back from Kagami.

“Speaking of car… how attached are you to this baby?”

"Please don't crash it with me inside." Kuroko shot him a pleading look.

He scoffed at the ridiculousness of that statement. He _had_ told Tetsu he was a damn good driver hadn’t he. “We’re not going to crash,” he reassured him. “But we might have to run if this asshole doesn’t give up at the next turn.” The benefits of living in such a shithole of a town was that the police were absolutely useless, hilariously corrupt, and prone to giving up a chase if the criminal went fast enough.

"You're going to be able to run with that erection?" Kuroko raised an eyebrow.

“I can drive faster if you blow me.” _Could_ he actually run with an erection?

"You can drive faster with your foot on the gas," Kuroko countered.

Aomine obliged, pressing down on the pedal. The needle inched further along and the sounds of the siren grew fainter. “Bossy…” he murmured, just loud enough for his passenger to catch. He didn’t bother trying to conceal the tiny smile on his face.

"I get the feeling you like that," Kuroko told him, looking out the rear window.

Turning into the first street he could see, Aomine let himself ease off the pedal just as the siren cut off completely. Fucking jokers those cops were. He hummed. “I’m not against it.”

"I also get the feeling there isn't much you _are_ against."

“I could give you a list. We can compare or I could show you instead.”

"You're going to show me the things you're against?" Kuroko asked with a laugh.

“No!” Aomine blurted out, feeling his face heat up. “That—shit.” He cleared his throat, brain on the fritz. “Reverse that.”

Kuroko laughed harder when he saw Aomine's face redden.

Aomine refrained from turning to stare at Tetsu or else they really would crash, because he doubted his ability to be able to look away. “Oi, Tetsu,” he started. “You’re cute when you laugh.”

Kuroko's laughter cut off and now he was the one blushing bright red, ducking his head to hide it.

“No reply this time?” The car slowed to a crawl and then stopped in front of a plain white house. “Here we are.” He declared with a flourish of his hands. “No broken bones, no busted car, you’re still alive and we’re not in a cell.”

The blush had mostly gone away, but Kuroko's cheeks were still tinted pink as he glanced around. "Your safe house is just your house, isn't it?" Then he blinked a few times. "I live a few streets away from here," he muttered, more to himself than Aomine.

Aomine probably would’ve coughed up some bullshit about the safehouse most definitely not being his actual house but he was too caught up on what Tetsu had just said. “You what? You live here as well?” They could’ve been having sex years ago, Aomine thought, awestruck.

"Yeah, like, three streets away. I can walk to my house from here," Kuroko answered.

Twisting his neck around to look down the street before facing forwards again, Aomine was, momentarily, at a loss for words. “So you’re saying… okay, right. Fuck me... ” He really had the worst luck today, or the best. He wasn’t quite sure and was still trying to work it out in his head.

"No thank you, I think I'd prefer the other way around. I would like my share of the money, though."

 _The other way around?_ Brain close to short-circuiting at this point, it took a while for Aomine to process those words but when he did, he leaned over suddenly, pressing his face gently into Tetsu’s shoulder. “Where have you been all my life, Tetsu?”

Kuroko looked at Aomine's head on his shoulder with mild surprise, but answered in a monotone, "Apparently three streets away.”

Aomine laughed, unable to wipe the delighted grin off his face and wrapped his arms around Tetsu. “Do you still want to see the badge?”

"The ba—the scout one?" It had taken him a moment to remember that bit of conversation considering all that followed.

“Sure, that one,” Aomine replied.

"Okay," Kuroko agreed.


End file.
